Yin and Yang

“One of the hottest issues on the U.S. presidential campaign trail is how dependent candidates are on their spouses…

“Business leaders experience the same kind of scrutiny, and few say publicly that they confer with their spouses. Yet, it has become increasingly common for them to regularly seek work advice from their wives or husbands…

“Most of those interviewed say spouses saved them from mistakes -- hiring the wrong person, passing up a job opportunity, or not standing up to a boss…

“Many of these executives have partners with careers equally demanding to their own, similar educational backgrounds and a deep understanding of certain industries. They value having a spouse who can give frank feedback and keep matters quiet.

“‘At home, I get a reality check on things in blunt, unvarnished terms,’ says Robert S. ‘Steve’ Miller, executive chairman of Delphi, who has led turnarounds of many big companies.

“He has conferred with both his wives -- his first wife, Maggie, who died two years ago after 40 years of marriage, and his new wife, Jill… ‘I haven't always accepted what they say, but I do seek their opinion because of the chemistry we share, their understanding of me and my trust that our conversations are confidential,’ he says.

“No employee wants to hear that a boss's decision about a work matter was the result of pillow talk at home, even if that employee is similarly confiding in his or her spouse. That may be less of a problem for many male bosses, however, who seem to think that broadcasting a wife's suggestion about work makes them appear sensitive and open to new ideas. Female executives often are more guarded, fearing they'll be seen as weak and ineffective if they say they've conferred with their husbands.”

(“Top Executives Value Advice From a Spouse; Some Won't Ask for It.” Carol Hymowitz. Wall Street Journal: February 11, 2008. pg. B.1)

CHEMISTRY and trust may resonate into understanding, even when all the details are not clear.

Who is your sounding board?